


Wishes

by unaspectre



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s05e21 Meridian, Episode: s06e22 Full Circle, Episode: s07e01 Fallen, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage, Post Episode: s05e21 Meridian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1620080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unaspectre/pseuds/unaspectre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wishing is useless, after everything that has happened Sha're knows this. The only thing to do is keep going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.  
> This is a three part story which I am still writing the third chapter of.  
> Enjoy.

Daniel stood watching, standing on the other side of the glass trying not to run into the Gateroom and beg her to stay. 

But he couldn’t. 

Their final fight was still ringing in his ears, as were her last words to him and Daniel knew there was nothing he could say or do to change this.

The Gate burst open bathing everything in blue light, Sha’re hugged Jack then Janet before saying goodbye to Teal’c and Sam. She said a respectful word towards Hammond who took her hand in his for a moment before she took her bag from Jack. Daniel clenched his fists as he watched the love of his life walk away. She stopped at the top of the ramp, turning she looked at him sadness filling her eyes before she left. Daniel stared at the event horizon until it disappeared, leaving nothing but a hole - empty and devoid of life.

Daniel heard Jack coming. Knowing that his friend would start asking the same questions he’d been asking for the past three days Daniel walked away.

If she could do it then so could he.

*********************************************

Sha’re stepped out of the event horizon and onto her home planet, the moment she heard it shut down Sha’re dropped to sit on the stairs and began to cry. She’d managed to hold it in for the past few days, managed to stop herself breaking down until this moment when she knew she was alone.

After ten minutes or so Sha’re managed to pull herself together, ready to face her father and tell him what she had done. She knew he wouldn’t be happy but Sha’re had prepared herself for that. Stepping out of the pyramid Sha’re felt the comforting heat press down on her, standing for a moment remembering the day they defeated Ra and the moment she had claimed her husband for all to see. That kiss had been the beginning. The kisses the night before in the cave didn’t count. No matter how good they had been. 

 

“My daughter,” Kasuf cried happily, rushing forward to greet her when she entered the city, “It is wonderful to see you.”

Sha’re smiled wrapped in her father’s arms, feeling for a moment like a little girl once more.

“How long are you here for?” Kasuf asked, walking them towards his home, “Did Dan’iel not come with you?”

Sha’re steeled herself before telling him, “I am staying for good, Father.”

“What?” Kasuf asked confused.

She took in a deep breath, “I am staying for good. Dan’iel and I are no longer married.”

“What?” Kasuf demanded again.

“Father, I tried but…”

Kasuf cut her off, “You left your husband? That is not acceptable, Sha’re you will return to Dan’iel now and beg him to take you back.”

Sha’re frowned, “No, I will not. Father, Dan’iel and I are no longer married. You can accept this and I will be here once more to look after you or…”

“Sha’re…”

“Or,” she continued as though he hadn’t spoken, “I will go to another world and live alone. I do not want to but if you cannot accept this then I shall go.”

“Did you try…”

“I tried for almost a year and a half,” Sha’re told him, “I tried but in the end it was just not enough,” she sighed before asking, “Do you want me to go?”

“Of course I want you to stay here,” Kasuf said finally, “This is your home. I just wish…”

“I do too, father,” Sha’re whispered moving to be held by him, “I do too.”

 

Sha’re sat grinding flour, it was a familiar task that allowed her time to think. She’d been home for almost three months now, three months trying to rebuild her life without Daniel. She missed him, for the first few nights she cried herself to sleep angry at him, at herself and at the Goa’uld for destroying her perfect life. But she knew she had left for a reason. 

“You have almost made that unusable,” Naeri noted taking the seat beside her, “I think you should stop.”

Sha’re sighed sadly doing as her friend suggested, “It helps.”

“I know I promised not to ask,” Naeri said, “But maybe you need to tell me what happened. I know how much you love Dan’iel and I know how much he loves you.”

“I do love him,” Sha’re whispered, tears filling her eyes, “But he…”

“What?” Naeri took her friend’s hand.

Sha’re shook her head, “Every few days he would go on a mission. He would leave me and step into the unknown. He came back hurt so many times. I was sure I was going to lose him one day but he would not stop. He threw himself into danger without thinking about what it would do to me if he died.”

“You asked him to stop?” Naeri asked astute as always.

Sha’re nodded sniffing slightly, “He would not. He kept saying how there were so many people out through the Stargate he could help.”

Naeri squeezed her friend’s hand tighter, “You knew what kind of man Dan’iel was when you married him.”

“Of course I did…”

“So what else happened?”

Sha’re let out a long sigh, glancing down at her friend’s large stomach, “He would not give me a baby.”

Knowing there was nothing she could say in comfort, Naeri simply hugged her friend.

*********************************************

Sha’re sat holding her friend’s baby boy. It had been almost nine months since she had returned to Abydos, nine months where she had to rebuild her life once more. 

“He is so good natured,” Sha’re smiled as she cradled the boy close who hadn’t fussed even slightly when she lifted him.

Naeri nodded, “You do know you could have one of your own. There are many who would ask to marry you if you showed the slightest hint you would accept.”

“There is no one here I would consider,” Sha’re replied, “I know how pathetic I may be but I cannot even imagine being with any other man.”

Naeri shook her head.

“Sha’re!!”

The two women looked at one another confused at the yell from Nebah, handing the baby back to his mother Sha’re stood and exited the tent to wave the boy over stopping when a familiar man appeared with him.

“Ferretti, what are you doing here?” she asked bemused.

“You have to come back to Earth with me,” he told her, “Now. It’s Daniel.”

Sha’re tiredly rubbed her eyes, “I cannot. Ferretti, he knows why I left. If he is hurt once more it just proves I was right to leave.”

“He’s dying.”

Sha’re gasped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, her vision blurred and only Ferretti catching her kept her upright.

“How?” she finally forced out.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “I got home from a mission and was instantly sent here to come get you.”

Sha’re shook her head unsure what to do.

“Sha’re,” Naeri appeared at her side turning her so they were face to face, “Go and be with him. You know if you don’t you will regret it. He needs you now and you should be there with him.”

 

Sha’re gripped Ferretti’s arm tightly when they walked through the Stargate, the moment they hit the ramp she saw Jack standing waiting for her. His face grim and eyes dark reminding Sha’re of the first time she met him.

“What happened?” Sha’re demanded without any preamble.

Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “Come on. Not here,” he glanced at Ferretti, “Doc Warner is waiting for you.”

Sha’re felt the knot in her stomach wind tighter each step they took towards the conference room. She slid into the seat Jack had waiting for her twisting her hands in the silence which she finally couldn’t take anymore.

“Jack, please just tell me,” she whispered, “What happened?”

He let out a long sigh, “We were on a planet where their scientists were doing experiments on a new form of Naquada. Typically they weren’t doing it right and Daniel stopped it from exploding killing everyone. But he got a lethal dose of radiation.”

Sha’re closed her eyes knowing what that meant, Ammonet had killed people that way. They had died a slow agonising death. And now her Daniel was going to die the same way.

Opening her eyes Sha’re took in a shuddering breath.

“I need to see him.”

 

Daniel lay on the hospital bed, his eyes closed. The effects of the radiation were beginning to show on his face and bandages were already wrapped around his hands. Sam was sitting at his side talking softly and Sha’re could see tears in the other woman’s eyes.

Sam turned and saw Sha’re standing on the other side of the glass. She spoke once more to Daniel before leaving the room.

“Hi,” Sam whispered wiping her eyes.

Sha’re nodded back. For some reason she and Sam had never really become friends despite how close Daniel was to her,

“I didn’t tell him you were here,” Sam said, “But he wants to see you.”

Sha’re closed her eyes steeling herself for a few moments before she walked into the room. It had been almost a year since she’d been in the same room as him and that time they were yelling at one another, throwing harsh words around that stung in a way none of their previous arguments had. Sha’re took the few steps to reach the side of the bed, wanting to take his hand, wanting to comfort him knowing she wasn’t able to.

“Dan’iel,” she said softly.

His eyes opened and he stared at her before turning away, “Why are you here?”

“Did you think I would not come?” Sha’re asked taking the seat at his side.

“You left me,” Daniel accused, anger in his voice.

“You know why,” Sha’re kept her voice even not reacting to his accusation, “This was why because I knew one day this would happen.”

“Then why come?”

“Because I love you,” Sha’re whispered, “And I will not let you go through this alone.”

Daniel stared at her for a moment before his eyes dropped, “Jack, Sam and Teal’c are all here.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I want you to touch me.”

Sha’re sniffed feeling tears fill her eyes, “I want to but I am not allowed.”

“I know.”

“But I will be here with you,” she couldn’t stop her tears as they slipped along her cheeks, “I will not leave you alone. I promise.”

 

Daniel was sleeping, or she assumed he was. His eyes were closed and his breathing even. His face was now covered in bandages as the effects had spread telling her that time was running out.

“Sha’re,” Janet’s voice made her turn, surprised she hadn’t realised the other woman was there, “Why don’t you go get something to eat?”

Sha’re shook her head, “I promised I would stay here with him.”

“He’s sleeping,” Janet reminded her, “You need to eat and possibly have a quick shower. It will make you feel better.” 

She winced at her choice of words but Sha’re simply nodded.

“Will you stay with him?” Sha’re asked softly.

Janet squeezed her hand, “Of course I will.”

With a quick glance towards the bed to ensure Daniel was still sleeping Sha’re left the room. She picked up some food in the commissary before heading to the VIP room set out, finding clean clothes someone had left for her. Locking the door Sha’re stripped and started the shower running, it had been a long time since she’d been under warm running water and as much as she loved her home this was something she had missed about Earth. She opened the shampoo smiling at the familiar scent of green apple filling the air, she felt tears sting her eyes again remembering how much Daniel loved this scent. How he would bury his face in her hair and tell her how the scent made him feel like he was home.

She forced herself to stop crying and began to wash her hair. Once she finished Sha’re dried and dressed fixing herself so she could sit by her loves death bed. A gentle knock on the door made her jump, opening the door she found Jack standing there.

“I thought you might want an escort,” he told her.

Sha’re nodded, “Thank you.”

She walked with him through the corridors of the base back to the infirmary; she flinched away when Jack moved to touch her arm in comfort.

“Please, do not,” she whispered.

Jack nodded; she knew he understood that she couldn’t accept sympathy from him just yet. Not until this was over. 

Then she could break.

 

“Sha’re?”

The call came just as she walked back into his room.

“I am here,” she soothed, taking the seat once more, “It is alright, my love. I have not left.”

“You washed your hair,” he smiled slightly.

Sha’re smiled as well, “Yes. I thought you might like it.”

“I always loved your hair,” Daniel continued sadly, “I just wish…”

“Shh,” she breathed, “There is no point in wishing.”

He let out a sigh closing his eyes falling asleep once more. Sha’re stood, she disliked the chairs in the infirmary finding them uncomfortable.

“They’re torture instruments,” Janet said coming over doing a few checks on the machines beside the bed, “Aren’t they?”

“Jack always said they were made to ensure people did not visit for longer than you allowed,” Sha’re replied, “I have to agree.”

Janet laughed slightly.

“Is it possible to touch him?” Sha’re asked wistfully, “Just for a moment. Just to let him feel that I am here.”

Janet shook her head sadly before she tilted her head in thought, “I have an idea.”

Sha’re frowned confused watching the other woman until she disappeared. Turning back she moved to look down on Daniel seeing a strange expression on the small part of his face but not getting the time to think about it as Janet reappeared.

“Here,” Janet offered her a yellow glove.

“What is it?”

“A way to touch him,” she explained, sliding the glove on to Sha’re’s right arm, “It’s from the radiation suit and will protect you. But you can only touch him for a moment otherwise it will hurt him.”

“Sha’re?”

Hearing his voice again Sha’re turned and gently rested her hand on his forehead seeing the surprise fill his eyes, “I am here.”

*********************************************

Sha’re wrapped her arms around her body begging whichever deity might exist that Jacob could heal him. She didn’t care about anything else right now; all she wanted was Daniel to be healed.

“Sha’re.”

Hearing her husband’s voice Sha’re looked over at the prone figure on the bed but he was unconscious.

“Sha’re,” his voice came again before a hand touched her arm and the world around her changed.

“Dan’iel,” Sha’re gasped seeing him standing before her whole and healthy. She threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. After a moment she pulled back and looked around confused that she appeared to be in the Gateroom but she could see the others huddled around the infirmary bed in the distance. 

“Sha’re,” Daniel turned her back to look at him, “You have to tell Jacob to stop.”

She stared at him, “No.”

“Please,” he said, “He’s not going to be able to heal me enough and I…” 

Sha’re frowned when he trailed off looking over to where a familiar woman stood before she turned back to her husband.

“I can do good,” Daniel told her, “I can help so much more than I can here.”

“But you will not be here,” Sha’re whispered achingly, “I will never see you again.”

Daniel didn’t remind her that they hadn’t seen one another in almost a year instead he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“Please Sha’re,” he begged, “You have to tell Jacob to stop. You have to let me go.”

Sha’re shook her head again tears streaming down her cheeks, “I cannot, I am not strong enough to do that.”

“You’re the strongest person I have ever known,” Daniel told her, “I need you to do this one thing for me.”

Sha’re stared at him, “Why me? Why not Jack? Or Sam? Or Teal’c? Why me? Are you punishing me for leaving?”

“No,” Daniel assured her quickly, wiping away her tears, “You’re noted as my next of kin. You are the only one who can give instructions on my behalf.”

“No.”

“Sha’re…”

“No!” she cried, “How can you ask me to do this?”

“Because I know that Jacob can’t heal me fully,” Daniel reminded her, “I know that. But Oma is giving me a chance, a chance to explore the universe and to help in a way I never could before.”

Sha’re looked at the being standing serenely simply waiting, turning back to Daniel she buried her face against his chest.

“I will come back,” Sha’re whispered, “I will look after you.”

Daniel took her face in his hands, “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“And I cannot do what you are asking.”

 

Sha’re turned away from him, confusion filled her when she looked over to the infirmary room where Jacob was trying to heal Daniel. No part of his skin was uncovered; no part was free from the ravages of the radiation and would be scarred forever. Janet had explained it all when they thought about using the healing gauntlet.

But even knowing that Sha’re couldn’t let him go.

“He is light,” a gentle voice said from beside her.

“Dan’iel?” Sha’re asked confused before she realised, “Shifu, my son.”

Oma nodded.

“And Dan’iel will become light also,” Sha’re continued sadly, “They will be together?”

Oma nodded once more.

Sha’re wrapped her arms around herself again taking in a deep breath.

“Promise me you will look after him,” Sha’re said trying to keep her voice steady, “He will get into trouble easily.”

The ancient being reached out and gently rested her hand against Sha’re’s cheek comfortingly. Sha’re closed her eyes for a moment before she turned to Daniel once more.

“I love you,” she whispered before moving towards the infirmary bed, “Jacob, stop.”

 

“What?” Jacob asked stunned at Sha’re’s command.

“Stop,” Sha’re said again, forcing back the tears threatening her, “We have to let him go.”

Jacob looked around the room, “Someone tell me what to do?”

“I told you,” Sha’re replied sharply, “Janet, your files state that I make any decisions for Dan’iel when he cannot, correct?”

“She’s right,” Janet said softly.

“You can’t,” Sam cried, “Dad’s helping, he’ll live if you let him finish.”

Sha’re shook her head, “Jacob, I am telling you to stop.”

“Do it, Jacob,” Jack suddenly spoke up, “It’s what he wants.”

Jacob stepped back and Sha’re felt Jack at her side. She turned seeking comfort from him. Jack held her as the heart monitor stopped beeping and her Daniel was gone. 

“Sha’re,” Jack nudged her motioning her to turn.

Confused Sha’re managed to look over at the bed stunned as Daniel turned to light becoming just like Oma. Involuntarily she reached out smiling slightly when he moved to her the tentacle of light wrapping around her wrist for a moment before disappearing.

Several minutes passed and Sha’re started out, needing to be alone.

“How could you?” Sam demanded angrily stopping Sha’re in her tracks.

“Carter,” Jack warned as Sha’re turned back.

Sam ignored him, “How could you let him die?”

Sha’re stared at the other woman for a moment, “He asked me to,” she replied before turning and walking away.

 

The conference room was quiet, Sha’re sat in the chair staring down at the Stargate sitting dormant for now. Jack’s reflection appeared above her and she turned to him. His face was impassive just like hers.

“Hammond is sorting a few things then he’ll send you home,” Jack assured her, “I wanted to check if you wanted anything from Daniel’s apartment.”

Sha’re shook her head, “I do not. I need nothing from there.”

Jack took the seat beside her, “Are you sure you want to head back to Abydos so soon? We’re going to have a service.”

“This was why I left,” Sha’re whispered brokenly, “Because I knew this would happen and I hoped…I hoped it would hurt less.”

She squeezed her eyes shut willing her tears not to fall yet, not until she was safe in her home where she could let go.

“I know,” Jack soothed, “There’s nothing I can say that will make you feel any better no matter how much I want to.”

Sha’re looked up at him suddenly, “How did you know?”

“What?”

“When Jacob was asking what to do,” Sha’re clarified, “You told them it was what Daniel wanted. He talked to you also?”

Jack nodded, “Daniel wanted to make sure you had support and to explain to me.”

“I am glad,” Sha’re whispered, “I do not know how I could explain to you and the others.”

Jack shrugged, “I don’t know how to explain to me. Are you sure you want to go so soon? If you wanted to stick around for a bit I’ve got a place you can crash.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Sha’re gave a very small smile, “But there is nothing left for me here.”

*********************************************

Kasuf walked towards the tent seeing his daughter leave for the first time in about a week. She had returned from Earth her face telling him everything when he greeted her. She had spoken softly telling him what had happened to Daniel while they walked to his home, the moment they were safely inside away from prying eyes she began to cry.

All he could do was hold her as she grieved the loss of her husband. 

“Sha’re,” he walked towards her, “It is good to see you outside.”

She gave a small shrug, “I cannot stay in there forever. As much as I wish I could. I am going to visit Naeri.”

“Good,” Kasuf nodded, “She has been asking for you.”

Sha’re lightly kissed her father’s cheek, “I shall return for dinner.”

Without another word she started across the sand towards her friend’s home, her sadness palpable following her every step.

 

Naeri smiled when she saw Sha’re walking towards her, wrapping her arms around her devastated friend in a tight embrace.

“I am so sorry,” Naeri whispered as she held Sha’re close, “Do you need anything?”

Sha’re shrugged, “I need to stop crying. I had no idea I could cry so much. I miss him. I know we were parted but I miss him.”

“Come,” Naeri drew her inside, “The children have missed you.”

Sha’re took a deep breath smiling brightly when Naeri’s eldest came running over to her, the little arms open for a hug from his favourite aunt. Taking the boy in her arms Sha’re held him close for a moment before letting him go.

She had decided that she would help raise the children of Abydos to know of the men who had freed their world from slavery, and of the one man who had ensured it happen. The man who then chose to remain with people who had been accepted him as a hero and a wife he had just met.

That was her role now and wishing for anything else was pointless.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.
> 
> Final chapter is still being written. Hopefully will be finished soon.
> 
> Enjoy.

The eager faces stared up at her as she told her story, hanging on every word she was saying. When she finished several hands shot up in the air.

“We do not have time for questions today,” Sha’re told her class, “I will answer some tomorrow. You may go.”

The children Sha’re had taken in as her first students all waved goodbye when they left the tent she was using as a classroom. It was now two months since she’d watched her beloved Daniel die; although he was not precisely dead he was still gone from her life and Sha’re had become a teacher. Her people had been kept ignorant for far too long so Sha’re was determined that the next generation wouldn’t be and she was using everything Daniel had taught her to make it happen.

 

“You are enjoying this,” Naeri noted when she met Sha’re after her class.

“Dan’iel taught me a great deal,” Sha’re explained with a slight shrug, “I want to share what I know. Then I want those I teach to learn more and make discoveries which will lead our people to become who we should have been if Ra had not held us back.”

“That is very ambitious,” Naeri noted, smiling at her friend.

Sha’re shrugged, “I know. I have been speaking with Harak. He thinks he can make paper for us so we can record our history and create our future.”

“The children were all talking about the story you were telling,” Naeri said, “What was it?”

Sha’re gave a sad smile, “Our defeat of Ra,” she turned at the chuckle her friend gave, “What?”

“That is a very romantic story,” Naeri reminded her as they reached her home, “Are you sure it is suitable for the children.”

Sha’re grimaced, “I told them how we rose up against an evil creature that pretended it was a god.”

“Not how you married the man who inspired the rebellion?” Naeri laughed, “How you died to protect him and he risked everything to bring you back?”

Sha’re turned away suddenly and Naeri winced, knowing she’d pushed too far.

“I am sorry,” Naeri wrapped her friend in a tight comforting embrace, “I did not mean to upset you.”

Sha’re took a deep breath stepping back from her friend, “The children are not interested in a romance; they find the fight with Ra more interesting. My love for Daniel does not matter to them.”

Before Naeri could say anything else Sha’re bade her goodnight and left.

 

Sha’re walked across the cooling sand towards the cave that held the history of Abydos, where she had fallen in love. She came here once a week, to reread the story that had changed her world in every way.

Sitting on the blanket against the wall Sha’re closed her eyes. It was exhausting trying to pretend she was moving past her grief when she wasn’t. She cried every night when she was sure her father was asleep, burying her face in the cushion Daniel used to sleep on. She had made it for him during their first month together, the first present she had been able to give him. A slight smile touched her lips thinking back to his reaction when she’d presented him with it. He was always so appreciative of gifts, no matter how small or insignificant they were.

A soft breeze filled the cave and Sha’re lifted her face into it. With a sigh she lay down for a moment just to rest, her eyes closed and she fell asleep wishing to go back to that first night.

 

Flickering light woke her and Sha’re winced confused looking around to find the source of the illumination. A torch sat in the ring lighting the walls where someone was standing not that far from her gently sliding their fingers across the story of her people.

Standing, Sha’re moved to demand who they were, stopping stunned when the other occupant turned to her.

“Dan’iel?”

Her beloved husband smiled down at her, “Hi.”

With a cry she threw her arms around him, tears streaming freely along her cheeks Daniel holding her close.

“Shh,” he soothed rocking her, “It’s okay.”

“I thought I had lost you forever,” Sha’re whispered pulling back so she could kiss him, catching the slight frown he gave, “What?”

“I’m not here for good,” he told her, “I only came to make sure you were alright.”

Sha’re pulled away from him, “That is all?” anger and hurt filled her voice, “You are visiting?”

“Sha’re…”

“No,” she snapped, “You do not get to do this to me again. It has been two moons since you asked me to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You cannot just flit in and out of my life.”

Daniel bowed his head, “I know. But I’ve been unable to stop worrying about you and Oma sent me to check on you. Honestly you weren’t supposed to see me.”

“Then why can I?” Sha’re demanded.

Daniel took a seat on the blanket against the back wall, “I don’t know. Maybe because subconsciously I wanted you to.”

Sha’re sat at his side, anger draining from her as she looked at his worried face. With a sigh she slid her hand into his.

“I am fine,” Sha’re told him, “I am teaching the children of Abydos how to read, write and how to think. The next generation of our people will be so much more than previous generations.”

Daniel smiled proudly at her, “I can think of no one better to change the world.”

She dropped her head for a moment before looking back up into his eyes, “What about you? What are you doing?”

“I’m learning,” Daniel shrugged, “It is amazing. There is so much I had no idea about that I just can’t…”

Sha’re chuckled when he trailed off, “You never change.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I shouldn’t have let you see me.”

With a sigh Sha’re rested her head against his chest, frowning she pressed her ear against him more firmly.

“What?”

“I cannot hear your heart beat,” she told him moving back, sadness covering her face, “This is a dream.”

Daniel nodded softly.

“Are you really here with me?” Sha’re forced out, not knowing what she wanted the answer to be, “Or is this just wishful thinking?”

Daniel squeezed her hand, “I am here. But I can’t stay. I wanted you to know…I needed you to know…”

“Know what?” Sha’re asked.

“You are the love of my life,” he said, “I was ready to stay here and have dozens of kids with you.”

Sha’re sighed, “But you were meant for so much more. I knew that from the moment we met. We had a full year where I was the centre of your world, where I knew that you would do anything for me.”

“I still…”

“No,” she cut him off, “Do not say anything more. I understand but there is one thing I need before you go.”

“Anything.”

Sha’re took his face in her hands, she pressed her lips to his in a deep kiss letting out a soft sigh when they parted.

“We never said goodbye properly and I needed to,” Sha’re reminded him, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Daniel murmured before he stepped away from her.

Sha’re let out a gasp opening her eyes, she looked around the cavern finding no one else but sitting in the ring at the entrance was a burned out torch.

*********************************************

“Sha’re,” her father’s call interrupted her lesson planning, “Sha’re, my daughter where are you?”

Shaking her head she left the small room she was using as an ‘office’, “I am here, Father. I am trying to work.”

Kasuf smiled proudly at her, “I am sorry to interrupt but we have visitors coming today. I need you to be with me to greet them.”

She sighed before nodding, “Allow me a moment to tidy away my work.”

“Of course, my child,” Kasuf told her.

Heading back to her small office Sha’re hoped that it wasn’t the Tauri who were coming. As much as she would like to see Jack she knew she would not be able to hold her tongue when seeing the accusation in Samantha’s eyes for allowing Daniel to leave.

Entering the pyramid a short time later she found her father along with a few other council members waiting. Kasuf smiled proudly when she took her place at his side just before the _Chappa-aii_ opened. 

Their guests stepped through and Sha’re felt a smile touch her lips. Gairwan of Cimmeria walked towards them dipping her head respectfully towards the Abydonian Council.

“Welcome to Abydos once more,” Kasuf said offering his hand clasping her forearm when she took his in the traditional Cimmerian greeting.

“It is as always an honour to be here,” Gairwan replied, she turned to Sha’re, “It is wonderful to see you again, Sha’re. How go your efforts to school the children of Nagada?”

Sha’re chuckled, “They love stories but other work is not always welcome. I am trying however.”

“Well, if you like whilst I am here I can tell them some stories also.” Gairwan offered.

Sha’re took the other woman’s hand in hers, “I would appreciate that.”

 

It was several days later Gairwan was able to keep her promise and Sha’re sat smiling amused at the fascinated faces staring up at the woman who was telling the story of how a Goa’uld tried to take over her world. The story included four heroes who arrived from another world to help, Sha’re knew exactly who they were and where they came from. When she finished Sha’re took her place once more at the front of her pupils.

“Can you all thank Gairwan for coming and sharing this with us?” Sha’re said.

The children chorused their thanks before Sha’re dismissed them for the day.

“Thank you so much,” Sha’re said to the other woman, “They loved that. And thank you for not giving the four heroes their names.”

“I thought it was best if they were unknown,” she shrugged before taking Sha’re by the arm, “So, how are you?”

Sha’re hesitated as they walked through the city before replying, “Better.”

Gairwan gave her a look that reminded Sha’re of the ones she would receive from her mother when she didn’t believe her. But Sha’re wasn’t lying. The night in the cave when Daniel had visited had helped her more than she thought it ever would.

“I have come to terms with everything,” Sha’re assured, “But thank you for your concern.”

Gairwan turned the younger woman to her, resting a hand on her cheek, “I have been concerned for you since I found you in the cave. Freed from an Etin, frightened and alone. You had the same look in your eyes as you did when I saw you a few months ago.”

Sha’re tilted her head challengingly, “Do you see it now?”

Gairwan shook her head, “Not anymore.”

“Because I am fine.”

*********************************************

Two of the three moons were full and Sha’re sat on a blanket staring at the stars. Gairwan was leaving tomorrow and she could hear the sounds of the farewell reception coming from the council chambers. She’d come here to think over Gairwan’s suggestion that Sha’re spend a week on Cimmeria where she could learn some of the history as well as their farming techniques to share with both her pupils and the others of Abydos. 

It was extremely tempting to go somewhere different for a few days, to spend time with others but she had responsibilities. 

“Everyone is looking for you,” Naeri took a seat by her side, “Kasuf told them you would return soon. He sent me to bring you back.”

“I am just thinking,” Sha’re said softly.

Naeri chuckled, “Kasuf told me. It is a wonderful offer.”

“But what about the children?” Sha’re demanded, “I am trying to get them all into a routine of having lessons each day. I do not wish to stop so soon.”

“I understand,” Naeri told her, “But think about it, you can come back with so much to teach them. It would do you good to spend time away from here. I know you are dealing with losing Daniel but there are days I see you looking towards the _Chappa-aii_ with a desire to leave.”

Sha’re shrugged, “I just know what is out there. I would like to go. After Ammonet was removed Gairwan cared for me until I was ready. She is a dear friend and I would like to spend time on Cimmeria.”

“Then do it,” Naeri told her, “It will be good for you.”

With a decisive nod Sha’re stood, helping her friend to her feet before they headed back to the party.

 

Sha’re hugged her father, “You will be fine without me?”

“My dear daughter,” Kasuf chuckled, “I have been taking care of myself for many years. I shall be perfectly fine with you away for a short time. Skaara is returning today also. Go, I want you to enjoy your time away.”

“I shall,” she smiled before lifting her pack; she gave her father a quick kiss on the cheek frowning when, from the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a familiar face.

“Sha’re?”

Finding nothing and no-one there Sha’re gave her father a final smile before joining Gairwan to walk through to Cimmeria. A blast of cold air made Sha’re shiver the moment she stepped out of the wormhole, Gairwan threw a shawl around her while they waited for the Hammer to scan them. The memory of the first time she heard that sound filled her mind unbidden, when she stood in the same spot unable to move her own body because of the creature that had forced its way inside her. A hand touching her arm pulled her back to the present and Sha’re smiled at Gairwan who led her to where she would be staying for the week.

 

Sha’re sat watching the children play nearby taking a break from studying the plans for the irrigation system the Cimmerians used. The scrolls Harak had given her where slowly being filled with her notes and small drawings as she tried to find a way to adapt it for Abydos. She hoped that Bahir would be able to make some sense of it when she returned home.

“Sha’re,” Gairwan called urgently, “Sha’re!!”

“I am here,” she waved the other woman over, smiling when she saw the man walking with her friend, “Jack.” Without hesitation she covered the short distance and hugged him, “It is so good to see you.”

“You too,” his reply was soft, sad and Sha’re instantly pulled away.

Suspicion filled her and when Sha’re saw the sorrow in his eyes she knew whatever he was here to tell her was bad.

“What…what happened?” she stammered slightly.

“We should talk somewhere private,” Jack told her.

Sha’re glanced at Gairwan who gave a soft nod, her face solemn but not giving away anything more than that.

“We can use the house I am staying in,” Sha’re told him, “It is this way. Gairwan…”

“I shall gather your things,” the other woman promised.

With a quick nod Sha’re led Jack to the small cottage she was staying in worrying why he’d come here to see her.

 

Sha’re tried to pull air into her lungs feeling as though it had somehow all been sucked out of the room. Jack had pushed her head between her legs when she began to hyperventilate and was currently rubbing circles on her back encouraging her to take deep breaths.

“Are you sure?” she looked up at him desperate that this was some kind of mistake, that her home had not been destroyed by one of the creatures who had taken her from it, “Are you sure?”

Jack simply nodded because she’d asked the same question about ten times already. Fresh tears spilled from her eyes and Sha’re clung to Jack who rocked her. After about half an hour Sha’re managed to calm down so she could ask the question that was burning through her brain.

“You said Dan’iel was there?”

Jack nodded, “I know this is unbelievable but he was there. I saw him earlier this year as well. He…”

“He came to see me also,” Sha’re whispered.

“You know if he could have done anything to stop this,” Jack said, “He would have.”

Sha’re nodded trying to stop even more tears from falling and failing so she just fell against Jack letting her grief spill out. She couldn’t say how long she cried in Jack’s arms but she noticed all of a sudden that the sun was setting filling the room with shadows.

A knock came on the door just before Gairwan entered carrying a tray.

“I thought you might be hungry,” she said placing it on the table in the corner of the room.

Sha’re shook her head, “I am not. Jack, you should eat though.”

Gairwan frowned moving to Sha’re’s side, “You need to eat something.”

“I do not think I could keep anything down,” Sha’re sighed, “I just…” she trailed off the thought suddenly occurring to her, “Where will I go?”

Jack and Gairwan shared a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked gently.

Sha’re stared at him in horror, “My home is gone. I have nowhere to go.”

“Of course you do,” Gairwan assured pulling Sha’re close to her.

“Sha’re, you always have a place on Earth,” Jack told her.

“Or here,” Gairwan added, “Our people were allies and your father was my dear friend. You have a home with us.”

 

Sha’re stood watching the _Chappa-aii_ dial, Jack and Gairwan were saying their goodbyes. She just watched the large circle that had changed her life so many times and this time had taken everything from her. She had elected to remain on Cimmeria despite Jack’s attempts to persuade her to return to Earth with him. Cimmeria was better for her, their evolution was in a place similar to Abydos, she had made friends here and she had her own cottage. It was the right decision.

“Are you sure?” Jack asked her once more, “I have a place you can stay.”

Sha’re shook her head, “It is kind of you to offer but it is best that I remain here. You are always welcome to visit.”

“I will take you up on that,” Jack told her before he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, “I’m sorry I had to give you that news. I wish…”

Sha’re pulled back cutting him off, “I stopped wishing a long time ago, Jack. Just promise me that you will be careful.”

“I promise,” Jack gently kissed her forehead. He turned and dialled Earth sending the signal to let them know he was coming. He gave a quick wave goodbye before he stepped through disappearing from view.

Sha’re turned and slowly began walking to her new home, her world shattered leaving her to try and pick up the pieces of her life once more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.
> 
> I said originally this would be a three part story, but it got away from me and, after this, there is one more chapter which I am currently writing.

The rain battered off the window of the small cottage. Inside Sha’re chopped vegetables for her evening meal. It had been two months since Abydos had been destroyed along with everyone she had loved. Gairwan had been wonderful throughout, being there whenever Sha’re needed to talk, or yell or cry. 

Now though she was trying to get on with her life, even though she had no idea how to do that. From childhood she had known where her life would go but suddenly it made no sense whatsoever. She especially missed her father and Naeri’s presence in her life. Both had always been there, her father providing guidance and wisdom while Naeri had been her best friend who she had shared everything with.

A knock on the door made her wonder who would come out on a night like this, so she hurried to the door finding Gairwan standing there dripping wet.

“What are you doing?” Sha’re demanded letting the other woman in, “Sit by the fire and dry yourself.”

Gairwan peeled off her rain protector taking the towel Sha’re threw to her and drying off before settling beside the fire to warm herself. Gairwan took the tea Sha’re handed her smiling when Sha’re settled across from her with her own tea.

“Why did you risk your health by going out in that rain?” Sha’re asked concerned.

Gairwan gave a soft smile, “I wished some company tonight and hoped you would be that for me.”

Sha’re stared at her worriedly, “Is something wrong?”

“It is my wedding anniversary,” Gairwan explained.

Silently Sha’re reached out and took her friend’s hand in hers squeezing before she headed to the kitchen and retrieved the cakes she had made earlier. Taking them back to the fire Sha’re sat across from her friend setting the plate between them.

 

The fire had died down and the rain had stopped by the time Gairwan bade her goodnight and returned to her own home. Alone again Sha’re made sure the fire was out properly before she picked up the lantern heading to her bedroom. For the first few weeks she fantasised that either her father, Skaara or Daniel would appear here to comfort her at the loss of Abydos but none had. Readying herself for bed, Sha’re thought about her friend. 

Gairwan had been the first person Sha’re saw after Ammonet had been killed within her. Scared and confused after the trauma of going through the Hammer Gairwan was kind and caring, giving Sha’re someone she could trust who she had bonded with over the next few days while Gairwan nursed her back to health.

Sha’re decided she would find something nice she could do for her friend to thank her for everything. With that thought in mind Sha’re curled up to sleep.

*********************************************

Lira and Cody ran past the garden waving hello while Sha’re worked. She paused digging the flower bed to wave back at them watching them as they headed into the circle of children who were playing nearby. She wondered suddenly if there was a way to start a school here, she had enjoyed teaching and it would help her contribute to her new home. 

Still watching the children a familiar man appeared just beyond them, his green uniform completely different from anything worn on Cimmeria. Jack had visited a few times since delivering the awful news about her home. Thankfully each time Jack came to see her he came alone, usually as a side-trip after a mission. Brushing the dirt off her apron Sha’re removed the gardening gloves.

“Welcome back,” Sha’re stated when he reached her garden, “It is good to see you, Jack.”

Jack smiled fondly at her, “You too. You’re looking good.”

“As are you,” she opened the gate, “Please, come in.”

They headed into the cottage and Sha’re started to make some tea but Jack stopped her.

“I need you to come to Earth with me,” he told her.

“Why?”

When Jack hesitated Sha’re stepped back from him.

“Jack, I am not going anywhere until you give me a reason to,” she stated coldly.

He took a seat and let out a long breath, “We found Daniel yesterday.”

Sha’re froze trying to say something but nothing came out for several minutes before she finally managed to ask, “Truly?”

Jack nodded.

“Is he well?”

“Physically,” Jack told her, “He’s perfectly healthy but he has no memory.”

Sha’re shook her head, “I don’t…are you saying he does not know who he is?”

“Not even slightly,” Jack replied, “Though Fraiser is sure his memory should come back by spending time with his friends and family.”

Sha’re took a seat trying to process everything Jack had just told her before she shook her head, “I do not think I should come.”

“Why?”

Sha’re sighed, “Jack, I left because he kept getting hurt. Then he died. I do not know if I can put either of us through that again.”

“Honey,” Jack sat beside her, “He loves you. He will remember that soon then he will remember you leaving.”

Tears filled her eyes, “I do want to see him. I have missed him but what if the cycle begins again? I do not know if I could lose him again.”

Jack shrugged, “I can’t give you an answer to that but Daniel is completely lost right now and you would be an anchor. “

Sha’re began to pace for several minutes in silence before she turned back to Jack and shook her head.

“I am sorry,” she told him, “But I cannot.”

“Sha’re…”

Crossing her arms she held her ground, “I have no issue with Dan’iel coming here once he has remembered more, if he desires to, but I will not be returning to Earth with you.”

 

“I am not talking about it,” Sha’re stated hearing the door to her cottage close.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Gairwan replied moving to Sha’re’s side.

Turning to her friend Sha’re frowned, “Your eyes are saying something other than that.”

“You miss Daniel,” Gairwan said softly.

Sitting in the small chair by her fire Sha’re sighed, “Of course I do.”

“And you still love him.”

Sha’re took a breath before nodding.

“Then why are you still here?” Gairwan sat at her side taking her hand, “Why are you pretending he’s still gone?”

“He does not remember me,” Sha’re stated, “He will not miss me.”

Gairwan frowned, “You know that is not true. O’Neill was clear that Daniel’s memory will return.”

Sha’re pulled away from Gairwan who stood watching while she paced the room agitated, annoyed even more that her friend was just staring at her calmly while she bounced around.

“What is stopping you?” Gairwan finally asked.

Stunned by the sudden interruption to the silence Sha’re spun and blurted out, “I am afraid.”

“Of what?” Gairwan asked softly, moving to her side.

Sha’re sunk into the seat again, “If I go back and he remembers me, if we get together again what happens if…if…”

“If what?”

Tears slid down her cheeks, “If it does not work? I do not want to lose him again.”

Wrapping the younger woman in her arms Gairwan rocked her for a few moments before looking into Sha’re’s eyes, “Is this better? You know I will support you whatever you decide to do but Sha’re, you will regret if you don’t take this chance. We both know this.”

*********************************************

The grey corridors of the SGC were filled with memories, Sha’re walked behind the airman who was leading her to Daniel. Her stomach was turning with nerves but she was trying very hard not to let anyone see how scared she was. She was unable to stop her smile when she saw Jack leaning against the wall outside the room she was heading to.

“You know I was actually expecting you to arrive tomorrow,” Jack told her, “You’re early.”

Sha’re rolled her eyes ignoring him, “Is he in there?”

“Yes,” Jack replied, “He has remembered you slightly but he’s still pretty confused about who he is.”

“I wish to see him,” Sha’re stated.

Jack smiled, “I know. Go on. I’m going to get some lunch.”

She gave him a slight nod waiting until he walked away leaving her alone outside the door. Taking a deep breath Sha’re raised her hand and knocked, three quick raps.

“Come in,” the familiar voice called and Sha’re felt her eyes tear.

She brushed them away quickly before opening the door stopping in the doorway seeing Daniel sitting on the bed pouring over a file.

“I’m just reading about SG1 missions,” he said before looking up his next words dying when he saw her.

“Hello Dan’iel,” Sha’re said softly, smiling to see him looking so much like the man she had married. His blue eyes were filled with a desire for knowledge, his hair although still short was lighter than it had been the last time she saw him and he looked slightly lost in the all-in-one green jumpsuit he was wearing.

“Sha’re?” Daniel breathed bouncing to his feet, staring at her in amazement, “You’re here?”

She nodded softly, “May I come in?”

“Yes,” Daniel nodded, “Please…yes…I said that already.”

Chuckling Sha’re shrugged before she walked over to the bed taking a seat on the edge while Daniel stood staring at her. Sha’re patted the spot at her side.

“Sit with me,” she said softly.

When he did Sha’re reached out and rested her hand on his, “It is obvious you remember me but I was wondering how much you recalled.”

Daniel looked down at their hands for a moment before back up into her eyes, “Your name and for some reason flour but not much other than that. I know you’re important to me because your picture was amongst the things Jim…Jack filled my room with.”

Sha’re gently stroked his cheek with her free hand, “I hope I am.”

“Everyone keeps touching me,” Daniel said, catching her hand when she pulled it back, “You’re the only one I don’t mind doing so.”

Sha’re felt her cheeks flush the way they would when they first met. She gently drew her fingers across his cheek before she slid them into his hair.

“It is so good to see you,” she whispered, “And to be able to touch you again.”

Daniel stared at her for a few moments before asking, “Who are you to me?”

“You do not know?”

He shrugged, “Like I said, I just know you’re important to me.”

Sha’re stared at him, not sure telling him was the right idea but when she looked into his eyes he looked so lost and she could see his fear. Knowing she couldn’t leave him in uncertainty she squeezed his hand.

“I was your wife.”

Daniel stared at her looking stunned before he frowned slightly, “Was? As in was because I was dead or was because we weren’t together anymore?”

Sha’re chuckled shaking her head in amusement, “You always see every word and need to know its meaning.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he stated, the annoyed frown still on his face.

“It is a very long story, Dan’iel,” Sha’re told him, “For now can you just accept that I am here with you?”

“For now,” he agreed reluctantly.

 

“Sha’re.”

At Janet’s greeting she stepped into the office and embraced the other woman.

“You’re looking well,” Janet said as they took a seat.

Sha’re nodded softly, “Cimmeria is very different from my home but I have made a place for myself.”

“I’m glad,” Janet told her, “Have you seen Daniel yet?”

Sha’re nodded, “He is currently with Jack and General Hammond,” she sighed and looked to the other woman for advice, “He seems so confused.”

“He is,” Janet reminded her, “We’ve hit him with a lot of information and dropped him into a world where everyone tells him they’re his friend.”

Sha’re frowned she sat silently for a moment before turning back to her friend, “I told him I was his wife. He asked what I meant by was. Should I tell him?”

“Yes,” Janet said without hesitation.

“Are you sure?”

“Sha’re, lying to him isn’t going to do either of you any good,” Janet reminded her, “He needs you right now. Do you want him to lose that security?”

“Of course not.”

Janet squeezed the younger woman’s hand, “Just be honest with him. It’s what’s best for both of you.”

“I have missed you, Janet,” Sha’re said softly.

Janet smiled, “I’ve missed you too.”

*********************************************

Daniel was sitting reading files again when Sha’re returned to the room. She entered quietly watching him engrossed in the things he had done over the years.

He looked up to get another file stopping when he saw her standing there. Sha’re gave him a smile moving to join him sitting on the bed, she stopped when he stood and stepped away from her.

“Dan’iel?”

“You left me,” he said coldly, “You left.”

Sha’re nodded sadly.

“Why are you here?” Daniel demanded annoyed, “Why come back? Did you think I wouldn’t remember?”

Sha’re sat on the bed, “How much do you remember?”

Daniel stared at her, “I remember you walking through the Stargate, I remember you leaving.”

“Do you remember why?"

“Why you left me?” Daniel demanded sarcastically.

“I will take that as no,” Sha’re frowned at him, “I left because,” she hesitated, the reasons were so much more complicated than she could explain to him just now before she continued with the basic truth, the one she told her father, the one she told herself, “You would walk through the Stargate without a thought. You returned injured so many times and I…I could not deal with that any more. I knew one day you would die,” she paused tilting her head defiantly, “And then you did.”

Dumbstruck Daniel dropped to sit at her side, “I…”

Sha’re took a few deep breaths forcing her tears back taking his hand in hers, “I love you. I have been in love with you from the day we met. But knowing that I could lose you each time you walked through that thing, I did the only thing I could.”

“Are you going to leave again?”

Sha’re shrugged softly, “I honestly do not know. Thinking about going back to my cottage on Cimmeria and living there knowing that you are here, that we will not be together again…I hate it.”

“Then stay.”

“But thinking about sitting here every few days watching you walk into danger without a thought,” she shook her head.

They sat in silence for several minutes, Sha’re finally turned to him.

“For now we should focus on helping you remember,” she smiled, “There is no need to make any decisions just now. Alright?”

Daniel nodded.

 

Sha’re smiled as Jack drove them to his house. Jack had suggested that they head there and get Daniel out of the base in the hope it would help him remember more. Sha’re had happily accepted for both of them. Daniel was staring out the window watching the world go by lost in thought while Sha’re watched him. 

Daniel moved to the room he always used when staying there the moment they reached Jack’s house. Sha’re shared a chuckle with Jack before she took a seat on the couch dropping her bag down the side out of the road.

“Will I just order for us?” Jack asked.

Sha’re nodded, “I am sure whatever you get will be fine.”

“On second thoughts why don’t I go pick it up,” Jack suggested, “See if you can help jog his memory a bit more.”

Sha’re nodded once more, rising she headed to the spare room. She stood just outside watching Daniel as he paced the room, gently trailing his fingers across the furniture around it. Hearing Jack leave Sha’re stepped inside smiling as Daniel stalled when he saw her.

“I know this place,” he told her, “I know it so well but I can’t understand why?”

“You spend a great deal of time here,” Sha’re explained.

Confusion covered his face and Sha’re saw the lonely insecure man she had first met so long ago in his eyes, the man who didn’t have any friends or family and who had stayed on an alien world because it was giving him the one thing he didn’t have.

Taking his hand Sha’re pulled him to the bed to sit, “Jack is your closest friend. You are such different people but somehow you became one another’s family.”

“I…” Daniel stammered.

“Oh, my Dan’iel,” Sha’re stroked his cheek, “You have no idea how much you are cared for. You are so respected by all who work within the SGC. To your team and Janet you are family.”

Daniel stared at her as he brought his hand to touch her cheek before sliding it into her hair, Sha’re didn’t stop him as he leaned into her. When their lips touched Sha’re wrapped her arms around his neck, holding onto him as he deepened the kiss.

“Wow,” Daniel murmured when they parted.

Sha’re smiled to herself, “You always liked my kisses.”

“No wonder,” he breathed. 

Standing Sha’re brushed her hair back, “Jack is bringing food for us, we should get things ready.”

 

They sat watching a movie about a man who was able to fly while they waited for Jack to return. The moment he arrived home Sha’re bounced up to help serve out the food.

“Did I interrupt anything?” Jack teased as he handed her the pizza boxes.

Sha’re frowned at him but didn’t say anything as she put the pizzas onto plates. Picking two up she headed back to the lounge chuckling at the look of disgust on Daniel’s face at the food in front of him.

“What is it?”

“Your usual,” Jack assured dropping the bowls with the fries and sides before ducking back to get the final pizza.

“Are you sure?” Daniel demanded with a grimace.

Sha’re picked up a fry and dipped it in the sauce before popping it into his mouth, “I am your wife and Jack is your best friend. We are very sure what you like to eat.”

*********************************************

Sha’re wasn’t sure what woke her, but all of a sudden she was wide awake in the middle of the night. Sitting up she looked around the lounge listening for signs that either man was awake but there was nothing but silence.

Daniel had tried to persuade her to take the bed while he slept on the couch but she had won. She reminded him that this was to help his memory, since he always slept there then he should, not to mention she was smaller and would be quite comfortable on the couch when he would not.

It felt so strange being back on Earth. 

Sha’re walked softly towards the spare room where Daniel was sleeping just to check on him. Opening the door she peeked in, finding him fast asleep lit by a streetlight. He was sleeping on one side of the bed leaving space for her to climb in beside him.

She was tempted, so tempted to slide in beside him and fall asleep in his warmth once more but she knew she couldn’t. Noise behind her let her know Jack was awake and she stepped to the side slightly allowing him to check on his friend. Once he was sure Daniel was where he was supposed to be, Jack motioned Sha’re away.

 

“Want something to drink?” Jack asked as he headed to the kitchen.

Sha’re nodded, “Hot chocolate if you are making it.”

“Your wish,” he grinned.

Sha’re took a seat watching Jack as he heated the milk for their hot chocolate. He had made it for her on her first night out of the SGC when she couldn’t sleep. They had come here because there had been a fire in Daniel’s apartment building which meant he was staying with Jack for a few weeks. She’d woken in the middle of the night and found Jack having the beverage, he quickly made her a mug and it became her favourite thing to drink – especially late at night.

“So,” Jack sat her mug on the table in front of her before taking a seat, “How’re you doing?”

“It is so strange,” Sha’re admitted, “He seems so distant, so confused and when he looks at me it is like I am a stranger. Then suddenly, for a few moments, he is my Dan’iel once more.”

Jack nodded, “I know what you mean.”

Sha’re took a long drink and smiled slightly, “I forgot how much I liked this. If I do return to Cimmeria then I am taking as much of this as I can carry.”

“So, it’s still a possibility?” Jack asked concerned.

Sha’re dropped her eyes, “For the moment. Jack, I left Dan’iel because he kept putting himself in danger and, although he is barely able to remember that, who’s to say the moment he has his full memory restored he will not just do it once again.”

Jack grimaced, “I can’t answer that, Sha’re.”

“Only he can,” she finished her drink and rinsed the mug before putting it away, “Goodnight.”

 

Sha’re sighed contentedly as she slowly woke, aware suddenly of someone moving around near her. Opening her eyes she saw Daniel trying to walk quietly through the lounge making her smile softly.

“Good morning,” she said, chuckling softly at the stunned look on his face, “What time is it?”

“Just after nine,” Daniel told her, “I was trying not to wake you or Jack.”

Sha’re smiled, “Jack will already be on his run. How did you sleep?”

He shrugged, “Not bad.”

After a moment Sha’re noted he was averting his eyes and she realised the top she was wearing was quite low cut. Rather than remark that he had seen her wearing less, Sha’re pulled over the cardigan sitting on the chair, sliding it on before she stood. 

“I will make us some breakfast,” Sha’re standing giving him a smile.

“You don’t…”

“Jack will never forgive me if I do not make honey cakes for breakfast,” Sha’re cut him off with a chuckle, “It is one of the reasons he asked us to stay.”

Daniel gave another soft shrug and followed her to the kitchen. Sha’re didn’t say a word as she gathered up the ingredients and started making the batter, watching him from the corner of her eye. He was sitting just watching her, his eyes distant and a slight smile on his face. Separating the batter into small cases, she placed the tray in the oven. She scraped the bowl to get the remnants of the mixture before taking it over to Daniel.

“Here,” she offered it to him, “You always liked to eat it raw.”

When he hesitated Sha’re dipped her finger into the batter and offered it to him, she felt a shiver slide along her spine when he ate the mixture from her finger. Their eyes locked and he stood suddenly catching her in a kiss. 

Passion filled the kiss, unlike the previous one they’d shared, and Sha’re wrapped her arms around his neck as Daniel held her tightly.

Hearing the door open they parted. Both a little stunned at the connection Sha’re turned back to the cooker while Daniel dropped onto his seat once more.

“Morning,” Jack called as he headed past them to get showered and changed.

“I should get dressed,” Daniel said suddenly.

Sha’re caught his hand, stretching up on her tiptoes she brushed her lips to his, “Be fast. Breakfast will be ready soon.”

*********************************************

“What are you doing?”

Sha’re turned to Jack surprised to find him there since he had been in his study on the phone the last time she checked, “I am cooking.”

“Why?”

“Because Dan’iel is reading about his life again and I have nothing else to do,” she told him with a blithe smile, “It shall also mean you have food here so you do not have to order in for some time.”

“I don’t…” he started stopping as she stared at him, “I eat…fine.”

Sha’re smiled at him, “Jack, I have nothing else to do just now and I like to cook.”

He rolled his eyes, “Whatever. I need to go to the base for a bit. I shouldn’t be long. Do you want me to pick up anything on my way back?”

Sha’re shook her head, “No, thank you. But please call and let me know if I need to keep you some dinner.”

Jack chuckled, leaning in he kissed her cheek, “You know I’ll get used to this kind of treatment if you keep this up, don’t you?”

Sha’re shook her head, shooing him away before turning back to her cooking.

 

“Sha’re?”

At Daniel’s soft voice she looked up from the book she was reading, frowning at the look on his face, “Is something wrong?”

“I know you lied to me,” Daniel said softly.

She stiffened slightly, “What do you think I lied about?”

He sat by her side, “About why you left.”

Sha’re stood and began to pace, she turned to him after a few moments, “Did you remember something?”

“No.”

Sha’re frowned bemused, “Why do you think I lied?”

“Just tell me the truth,” he said softly.

“Dan’iel,” she whispered sadly.

He slipped his hand into hers, “Please. I need to know why you really left so I can make it right.”

Sha’re dropped her head for a moment looking at where their hands sat entwined before looking back up at him.

“I wanted to start a family with you,” she explained softly, “But every time I talked about it you kept saying you did not think it was a good idea, that I was not ready after everything that had happened.”

He let go of her hand and reached over to the table where one of his journals sat, “I need you to read this. I don’t remember yet but I think if I wait until my memory comes back I won’t be able to show you.”

Confused Sha’re nervously took the journal and began to read the section Daniel directed her to.

_Sha’re brought up having children again tonight. I used the usual excuse that after the miscarriages and having to give Shifu away I didn’t think she was ready.  
I hate lying to her but how do I tell her I’m the one who’s not ready. How do I tell her that the thought of losing any more babies is something I don’t think I can handle? When we lost the first baby Sha’re was so pragmatic, she knew it was a possibility but the second miscarriage meant I almost lost her and I can’t go through that again._

Tears filled Sha’re’s eyes when she lowered the journal turning to the man sitting by her side watching her anxiously.

“Why did you never tell me?” she whispered.

Daniel shrugged, “I wish I knew. I guess I’m really a coward.”

They sat in silence for several minutes before Daniel touched her hand so she would look at him again.

“Tell me,” Daniel asked, “Tell me what we’ve lost so I can understand? Please.”

Sha’re stood, pacing as she forced her breathing to remain steady before she turned to him.

“I fell pregnant twice during the year we spent on Abydos,” she stayed back as she spoke, “I lost the baby each time. The first time was bad but the second…” she took a deep breath, “You would not talk about it but I overheard Hussar, the healer, speaking with father one night. I lost a great deal of blood and they thought I might not survive.”

Daniel stared at her, “And Shifu?”

Sha’re let out a long sigh, “We told you about my time as a prisoner of the Goa’uld, I had a child during that time. He was hidden by the demon within me before I was freed. When we finally found him we knew that it was impossible for us to protect him. We gave him to Oma, the same being who saved you.”

“I need you to read something else,” Daniel grabbed the journal again flipping through pages quickly. Finding what he was looking for he handed it to her, “This makes sense now.”

_Sha’re is heartbroken and trying not to show it. She won’t let me grieve with her because he wasn’t mine and his father was a monster. She’s assuming I didn’t love him._  
But I do.  
I brought him into the world and he is a part of the woman I love. Of course I love him. Giving him away tore at me but how can I tell her. She’s in so much pain, and all I can do is watch. 

Sha’re couldn’t read anymore, tears blinding her.

“I’m sorry,” Daniel pulled her close to him, “I didn’t mean…I thought it might help.”

She took a deep breath just resting against him as Daniel held her gently rubbing her back soothingly.

“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly when she pulled away.

“No,” she cried angrily, “I am not, Dan’iel because you lied to me, because I lied to you. And I cannot even be angry at you because you have no memory.” 

He sighed sadly, “We are really bad at this, aren’t we?”

Sha’re nodded, taking a seat once more, “Yes, we are.”

*********************************************

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Jack asked, handing her the mug of hot chocolate as she sat staring out the window later that night.

Sha’re sighed, “What did I do, Jack?”

“You tell me,” he sipped his own drink.

Shaking her head Sha’re sighed, “Why can Daniel and I never talk to one another when it is important? It is like we are strangers.”

Jack took another sip, staying silent to let her get whatever it was off her chest.

“When we married,” Sha’re continued after a moment, “It was after Ra, my death and events that changed everything about both our lives. He was on a world that reminded him of where he grew up and his parents. While I was…I was so enamoured by this mysterious stranger who had done the impossible.”

“What exactly are you saying?” Jack asked worriedly.

Sha’re shook her head, “I am beginning to think if I had not been abducted…”

“Daniel loves you,” Jack reminded her when she trailed off.

She gave him a sad smile, “There are times I think he loves the idea of being married more than the reality.”

“That isn’t…”

“Jack,” she cut him off, “When we were together for more than one year, I had to leave him.”

He stared at her frowning at the expression on her face.

“I think I have to again,” Sha’re stated sadly.

“Sha’re…”

“Jack,” she stopped him, sadness filling her eyes, “We just hurt each other and I cannot do it anymore.”

 

Sha’re was surprised that Daniel was still awake when she knocked softly on his door.

“You are up late,” Sha’re said softly.

“So are you,” he noted, “Why?”

Sha’re took a seat beside him, “I have been thinking about our conversation this afternoon.”

“So have I,” he murmured.

“How much do you remember?” Sha’re asked softly, “About us?”

Daniel chewed his lip for a moment before he shrugged, “I remember some things. I remember we fight, a lot, over small things.”

“We do,” Sha’re nodded, “Even when we make up we never resolve anything.”

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Daniel asked softly

Sha’re nodded sadness filling her eyes, “From what you know of our relationship, do you think I should stay?”

Daniel shook his head.

They sat in silence for several minutes before Daniel reached out and took her hand in his.

“Will I ever see you again?”

Sha’re gave him a tearful smile, “You are always welcome on Cimmeria. Perhaps you can take a side trip on a mission. Because I know you shall return to SG1.”

“That’s more than I do.”

 

Sha’re stood at the bottom of the ramp as the Stargate dialled Cimmeria. She turned to where Jack was standing and hugged him quickly. She turned to Daniel who wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace before Sha’re kissed him softly.

“Promise me that you will be careful,” Sha’re whispered, “Because I do not want Ferretti to appear suddenly again.”

Daniel smiled slightly, “I promise.”

With one final kiss Sha’re took her small pack from Jack before she walked up the ramp, leaving Earth and Daniel once more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.  
> Sorry this took so long but here is the final chapter – finally.  
> Enjoy.

Sha’re stepped out of the Stargate smiling at the sight of Jack waiting at the bottom of the ramp for her.

“Welcome back,” he greeted her with a quick hug.

“It is not that I am not pleased to see you, Jack,” Sha’re stated with a grimace, “But your message was a bit garbled. Why am I here?”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and drew her towards the conference room, “Come on. Let’s talk somewhere private.”

When they reached the large empty room Sha’re folded her arms across her chest refusing the seat he offered her.

“Jack, I am only here because you sent me a message that said it was urgent I come here,” she reminded him sternly, “Now, tell me why?”

Jack let out a long sigh, “Its Daniel.”

“I had guessed that,” Sha’re told him, rolling her eyes, “I assume he does not know you called me here.”

Jack gave her an innocent shrug, “He hasn’t been in for a few days.”

Worry covered her face, “That is unusual. What happened?”

“Okay,” Jack said, “About a week ago he went to retrieve an artefact. Some guys with a warped sense of hospitality grabbed him and well…”

“They hurt him,” Sha’re finished softly.

Jack nodded.

“Are you telling me since he started going through the Gate once more that this is the first time he has been hurt?” Sha’re asked with disdain.

Jack shook his head, “No but this is something different.”

“Different how?”

“I brought him home,” Jack told her, “But since Fraiser let him out of the infirmary he hasn’t even tried to come in or do any work. I’m worried and he just tells us he’s fine.”

Sha’re grimaced, “That usually indicates he is not.”

“So?”

Sha’re let out a long sigh, “I will need to speak to Janet first and then pick up some groceries.”

Jack nodded looking relieved, “I’ll meet you in the infirmary in twenty minutes, okay?”

 

“I can’t believe the Colonel thinks this is a good idea.”

Sha’re frowned when she reached the infirmary hearing Sam’s annoyed voice, she stopped knowing she shouldn’t but decided to listen in for a moment. They had never seen eye to eye for some reason but Sha’re did her best as Daniel thought of her as a sister.

“Sam, we both know that Daniel needs help,” Janet’s calm voice came, “He’s not dealing with what happened and, whether you like it or not, Sha’re is the one person he can’t fob off with fine.”

“Really?” Sam demanded, “They are divorced.”

“Sam, I know you don’t like Sha’re for some reason but Daniel loves her,” there was a pause for a moment before Janet spoke again, “You’re not…”

“What?” Sam asked. Sha’re wondered what Janet did because all of a sudden Sam cried, “No. He’s like my brother. I just don’t think she’s right for him. Look how unhappy she made him.”

Anger filled Sha’re at this but Janet spoke before she could move.

“You have no idea what happened between them, Sam,” the other woman said sharply, “You can’t judge.”

“Janet,” Sha’re stepped inside giving Sam a quick nod, “I need to speak to you.”

Janet stepped forward and gave her a quick hug, “It’s good to see you. Come and grab a seat. I’ll give you a rundown of his injuries and the medicine he should be taking.”

 

Sitting in Jack’s car as he drove her to Daniel’s new house Sha’re stared out the window at the scenery, they had stopped off so she could get groceries for the next few days to look after Daniel.

She wasn’t sure how he would react to her presence. They had parted on good terms, a mutual decision because they just kept hurting each other no matter what, but then again he might be angry at her interfering in his life. Jack drew up to the house and turned to her.

“Do you want me to come in?” he asked.

Sha’re gave him a warm smile, “There is no need, I will be fine.”

Climbing out Sha’re took the bags from the back of the truck and carried them to the door. She waved Jack away waiting until he had driven around the corner before she knocked.

“Jack,” Daniel’s annoyed voice came, “I have told you I don’t need…” he trailed off when he opened the door and saw her standing there, “Sha’re?”

She smiled at him, “Hello, Dan’iel.”

“Come on in,” he hobbled back from the door allowing him past her, “I take it Jack called.”

“He is worried about you,” she told him carrying the bags into the kitchen, “Sit down and rest your leg.”

Daniel closed the door before he hobbled back to the couch and dropped onto it, resting his leg up once more. Sha’re quickly put away her shopping, Daniel’s system was the exact same as when they had lived together making her smile slightly, before she took a seat at his side.

“How are you?” Sha’re asked studying him.

He grimaced, “Well I was burned and cut a lot, which itch like hell as they heal and my leg is throbbing,” Daniel looked at her, “Why did Jack call you? I’ve had worse.”

“He is worried about you,” Sha’re reminded him, “You are not acting the way you normally would when injured.”

“And how is that?”

At his sharp demanded Sha’re frowned at him, “You have not tried to go to the base or asked for work to do while at home.”

Daniel rolled his eyes snorting derisively, “Janet has me on pain meds that mean I can barely stay awake long enough to get dressed never mind try to focus on work. Sorry but they called you here for no reason.”

She reached out and rested her hand on his cheek, “Maybe but it means I can look after you for a while.”

 

“What?”

Sha’re turned from the kitchen where she was stirring some sauce seeing Daniel jump awake looking around confused, “Are you hungry?”

“Sha’re?” he twisted on the couch a little bemused, “What are you doing?”

“I am making us some dinner,” she told him with a slight smile.

“No,” he sighed, “Why are you still here?”

Turning to him Sha’re left the kitchen for a moment, “Because I have not seen you for some time,” she said before giving him a cheeky smile, “And I wanted to make sure you eat something you have not made by picking up the phone.”

Daniel gave a chuckle, “I miss you too.”

“Then you do not mind if I stay for a few days?” she asked sweetly.

He smiled back at her cupping her cheek for a moment, “I’d like that.”

“Good,” she squeezed his hand, “Now, I will finish making dinner.”

Returning to the kitchen she chewed her lip for a moment, she decided to call Jack once dinner was over and let him know she would be staying for a while.

*********************************************

“Sha’re…”

“I am perfectly content sleeping on the couch,” she cut him off, “It is the only other place to sleep in the house and it is not a good idea for us to sleep in the same bed.”

A slight smirk touched his lips, “You don’t think you can resist me?”

“I am afraid I may injure your leg while trying to get comfortable,” she threw back at him.

Daniel shook his head, “Seriously, Sha’re take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ve slept there enough the past few days.”

“Dan’iel, you know I will win this argument,” Sha’re told him, “So why do we just not have it and save ourselves the trouble?”

He let out a small sigh, defeated, “Okay.”

“Do you require help?” Sha’re asked, watching him struggle slightly to get off the couch.

He shook his head, “I’m okay. There are extra blankets in the cupboard in the hall. I would…”

“And you would fall if you tried,” Sha’re told him, “I will be fine.”

He smiled at her for a few moments before nodding, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Dan’iel.”

Sha’re watched him hobble away before she fetched the blankets and pillows from the cupboard then fixed herself a bed. Once she changed, she completed her nightly ritual then slid under the blanket hoping that she could do this, that she could be here and just be his friend.

 

Sha’re jumped awake at the cry echoing through the silence of the house, she hurried to Daniel’s room throwing open the door finding him fighting something in his sleep.

“Dan’iel,” she caught his hands, “Dan’iel, wake up.”

His eyes opened panic filling them, “Sha’re? How did you get here? You have to leave.”

“It is alright,” she soothed.

He shook his head, “No, they’ll hurt you. You need to leave I can’t let them hurt you.”

Sha’re moved, sitting in his lap she took his face in her hands so that he would focus on her, “Look at me.”

“Please…”

“Look at me,” she stopped him, “Look at where we are.”

“But…”

“Dan’iel,” Sha’re’s stated sharply, “Look at where we are.”

His ragged breathing slowed and his eyes focussed the panic easing as he looked around the room before back at her. His eyes slowly slid down taking in the love-heart covered pyjamas she was wearing, bought by Janet when they were getting her some clothes during her first few days on Earth. After a moment Daniel looked back up at her and sighed.

Sha’re slid off him and went to the small en-suite soaking a washcloth with cold water. Returning to his side, Sha’re gently mopped Daniel’s sweat-soaked face.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” Daniel whispered, closing his eyes at her ministrations.

Sha’re frowned, “It is alright, my Dan’iel. You should go back to sleep.”

His eyes opened and she saw fear fleet through the before he nodded. Sha’re caught his hand.

“Would you prefer I stay?” she asked.

The relief was instantaneous, “Yes.”

Sha’re gently kissed his forehead, returning the cloth to the en-suite before she climbed in beside him. Daniel lay with his back to her so Sha’re cuddled up behind him, her arm draped over his waist and he took her hand in his. She could hear he was trying to relax but was obviously afraid of what he would see in his sleep.

“I am here, Dan’iel,” she whispered over and over in his ear feeling the tension leak out of him until his breathing told her he was sleeping. She continued to soothe until sleep took her too.

*********************************************

Sha’re cuddled into the warmth around her as she slowly woke up. Opening her eyes she saw the beautiful blue eyes she missed staring back at her.

“Morning,” Daniel said softly.

Sha’re couldn’t help but smile back at him, “Morning. How do you feel?”

“I’m fine,” he said automatically, wincing the moment he did.

She chuckled before reaching out to stroke his cheek, “How about I make us some breakfast?”

“We could always go out?” Daniel suggested.

Sha’re looked at him, “Do you want to?” 

Daniel dropped his eyes, he knew she didn’t like going out for breakfast. She didn’t mind going out for lunch or dinner but for some reason the thought of the first meal of the day eaten somewhere other than the home was just wrong

“No,” he admitted.

Sha’re smiled and kissed his cheek, “I will make breakfast.”

 

The first morning Sha’re spent on Earth outside the base had been in Jack’s house. Daniel was still sleeping when she had woken that morning. She had met Jack who was heading out for his morning run and he told her to make herself at home so she had begun to look through the cupboards. Her mother had taught her to make honey cakes for breakfast and it was what she had made for Daniel every day they were together on Abydos. Looking through the cupboards she found ingredients that appeared to be acceptable substitutes Sha’re hoped she could recreate the recipe on Earth, surprised that they were there.

Turning on the radio she pulled together everything she needed to make breakfast that she had bought the previous night. Dancing to the music Sha’re mixed the batter listening to the sound of the shower in the next room. 

Setting the cakes into the oven to cook she saw Daniel hobbling out of his bedroom, freshly shaved with his hair still damp.

“I left the bowl for you,” she told him, “They should be ready in a few minutes.”

He grinned at her and took the teaspoon she had left for him eating the honey cake batter, Sha’re smiled seeing him relaxed while he ate it.

 

“I don’t know how you can eat those with peanut butter?” Daniel chuckled.

Sha’re grinned at him, “And I do not know how you cannot.”

She took a bite of her breakfast as they sat on the couch with the news on in the background. Sha’re didn’t mention this, just like she didn’t mention the nervous tapping of his fingers. Instead she offered him another cake, with the soft cheese he liked.

“How long are you here for?” Daniel asked suddenly.

Sha’re shrugged, “A few days, longer if you need me to stay.”

“I don’t…I mean I want…” Daniel frowned, taking a bit of his breakfast.

“You are allowed to need help,” Sha’re reminded him, “I just wish you would learn that one simple thing.”

He let out a long sigh, “Sha’re…”

“I know that you have been self-sufficient for such a long time,” Sha’re cut him off, “And I know that you do not like to share your burdens.”

“I don’t need to share anything,” Daniel replied, annoyance in his voice, “I am dealing with this in my own way.”

Sha’re shook her head, her own annoyance bubbling up at his refusal to deal with his issues. She didn’t snap at him though instead she picked up their plates and headed back to the kitchen. Without a word she began to run the water so she could wash up, ignoring Daniel when he hobbled over to her.

“Sha’re,” he said softly.

She ignored him as cleaned the plates.

“Please stop,” Daniel caught her hand, “Just for a moment.”

Sha’re turned to him, “You cannot keep pretending. I know you. I know your habits and I know when you are lying to me.”

“How am I lying?” Daniel cried irritation filling his voice.

Grabbing a towel she dried her hands, “When I arrived yesterday you told me the reason you were not trying to work was because of the painkillers.”

“So?”

“You have not taken any,” she snapped. Before he could reply she threw the towel at him and walked away calling back, “I am going to get dressed.”

Sha’re stood letting the warm water batter down on her. She was trying to cool her temper before she went back out to talk to him. This was why they had separated; this was why she was living on another world because they couldn’t communicate.

Finally she turned off the water.

Sha’re found a clean dress within the bag Janet had given her, dressing quickly before she dried her hair. She stayed in the room a little longer to ensure she was calm when she returned to the lounge.

The phone ringing caught her attention and Sha’re frowned when Daniel didn’t answer letting the machine take the call. She heard Jack’s voice, concern lacing it for a few moments before silence came once more.

Opening the door she saw Daniel sitting on the couch, he was holding two painkillers in his hand staring at them.

“They only help if you swallow them,” Sha’re said softly as she padded barefoot over to him.

He continued to stare at them, “I know.”

Sitting at his side Sha’re curled her legs beneath her, “Then why are you looking at them and not taking them.”

“I don’t wake up,” he confessed.

“What?”

“If I take the pills when the nightmares come,” Daniel continued, “I don’t wake up from them.”

Sha’re let out a soft sigh as she folded his hand over them, “How many times did you waken from a nightmare last night?”

“Just once,” Daniel shrugged, “It was a good night.”

Sha’re smiled slightly, “Because I was with you?”

“Yes.”

“That is because you need someone,” Sha’re reminded him.

Annoyance filled his eyes, “Sha’re…”

“But I cannot force you,” she cut him off, “So we will not talk about it.”

*********************************************

Since it was such a sunny day Sha’re had decided to sit out in Daniel’s small back garden, she persuaded Daniel to join her and he was currently sitting by her side reading a book. Although before he sat down he put some music on.

“Are you hungry?” Sha’re asked after a while.

Daniel looked up at her, “Yeah. You know you don’t have to cook.”

“As I remind Jack constantly,” Sha’re laughed, “I like to cook. This also ensures that you are eating proper food for at least a few days.”

Before he could protest Sha’re kissed his cheek and headed inside to make them something for lunch. Once there she picked up the phone and dialled Jack’s number.

“Daniel?”

“It is Sha’re,” she told Jack.

She could hear his annoyance before he asked, “How’s it going?”

“Not as well as I hoped,” Sha’re replied, “Dan’iel is being as stubborn as always. I know you want to see him but he is not ready for that just yet.”

“Okay,” Jack sighed, “Give me a call when he wants visitors or you want to head back to Cimmeria.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Sha’re said before hanging up.

Turning she saw Daniel standing watching her, a frown covering his face but Sha’re walked past him to the kitchen ignoring his annoyed look.

“Just because you do not wish to speak with Jack does not mean I do not,” she reminded him, “He asked me to let him know if I wanted to leave soon.”

“And do you?”

Sha’re shook her head, “Not yet.”

She turned to the fridge to see what she could make for lunch, stopping when she felt Daniel stand behind her. Turning she looked up at him seeing sadness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “This is what drove us apart.”

Before she could say a word Daniel shook his head and walked away. Sighing again Sha’re continued making lunch.

 

“You’re right,” Daniel spoke up suddenly as they were sitting out in the garden once again after lunch.

Sha’re looked up from her book, “About?”

“That I don’t know how to ask for help,” he sighed, “That I can’t share my burdens.”

Sha’re stayed silent, knowing that he was finally opening up to her and if she was going to be able to help him she had to let him talk.

“I don’t know how, Sha’re,” he continued while she slipped her hand into his, “I have tried but it never comes out.” Daniel looked down at their hands; he gently rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, “I wish I could tell you, I wish I knew how to open up again but I don’t.”

“You start by talking to me,” Sha’re said softly, “But that does not need to be now. When you are ready we will talk.”

Relief covered his face before he winced when Sha’re continued, “But we will talk.”

The rest of the day was spent in companionable silence with the occasional exchange of meaningless conversation. The sun disappeared so they decided to head back into the house. Sha’re watched him hobble to the couch and fetched the painkillers Janet had given him.

“I can’t,” Daniel said when she held them out to him.

“Just one,” she told him, “It will be less potent and I will be here with you. When I slept beside you last night you did not have nightmares, just like when you were sleeping on the couch yesterday while I was here.”

Daniel hesitated before nodding, taking the small pill and swallowing it with a drink of water. Sha’re sat on the end of the couch and drew him to lie with his head on her lap. He gave her a small smile closing his eyes. Sha’re slid her fingers through his hair, stroking and soothing feeling him relax after several minutes. She sat listening to him breathe in and out, happy to be his comfort while he slept.

*********************************************

“No,” Daniel cried.

Sha’re chuckled, “Jack said it is a good film,”

“Jack is evil in so many ways,” Daniel retorted as he spooned some of the rice from the containers onto his plate, “He knows I hate those movies.”

“Then what do you want to watch?” Sha’re rolled her eyes at him, “You do not have many choices.”

“Fine,” he let out an annoyed sigh, “We will watch the Indiana Jones movies since you’ve never seen them.”

Sha’re smiled and settled on the couch with her meal, she had agreed to call in food tonight after Daniel had woken from his few hours uninterrupted sleep. He looked much better than he had when she had arrived so she decided to pull back from pushing him to talk to her for the moment.

As they watched the film Sha’re could see his nervous finger tap so she slid closer to him and rested her head against his shoulder. Daniel wrapped his arm around her and Sha’re took his other hand stilling the nervous movement.

When the movie ended Sha’re stayed cuddled close to him, feeling him hold her tighter. Finally Sha’re moved away and looked at him, “You need to sleep some more.”

Daniel nodded reluctantly.

“If you wish,” Sha’re continued, “I will sleep beside you tonight.”

“Are you sure it is a good idea?” Daniel asked softly.

Sha’re smiled slightly, “It will help you sleep and right now what you need is to sleep.”

 

Sha’re changed into her pyjamas finding Daniel already under the covers, sliding in beside him she cuddled close recreating the position they’d slept in the night before.

“Why do you not have a bigger bed?” she teased, wriggling slightly to a more comfortable position.

Daniel didn’t say anything for a moment before he caught her hand in his, “I didn’t need anything bigger for just me.”

“It does not matter,” she told him, “We have slept in smaller spaces. Go to sleep, my Dan’iel.”

He let out a soft sigh turning the lamp off while Sha’re lay in the dark listening to Daniel’s breathing before he began to murmur in his sleep.

“You are safe,” she soothed, “You are here with me and you are safe.”

He settled and Sha’re rested her head against him closing her eyes to sleep but it didn’t come. Instead she lay listening to her love sleeping. He turned and Sha’re found herself studying his face in the light from outside the window. Daniel opened his eyes and Sha’re felt her heart jump slightly when he stroked her cheek. Despite knowing this was a bad idea she didn’t stop him when he kissed her. Their kiss deepened, Sha’re pulled him closer and quickly surrendered to his touch.

 

Sha’re lay slightly breathless, Daniel’s hand slowly stroking her bare back as she rested one hand on his chest sliding her fingers along a small scar he had received when he was a child the day his parents died. Looking into his eyes Sha’re gently kissed him again.

“That probably wasn’t a good idea,” Daniel breathed softly, his hand stilling on her back.

Sha’re smiled, “Perhaps not but I do not regret it.”

Daniel stared at her for several moments before telling her, “I miss you.”

“I miss you,” Sha’re replied, “But I do not want to feel the way I did before. I do not want to fight with you all the time and go to sleep so angry wishing to be somewhere else.”

Daniel dropped his eyes and let out a soft sad sigh. 

Sha’re pressed a kiss to his lips, “Go to sleep.”

*********************************************

“Hi,” Jack said when Sha’re opened the door to him.

Sha’re smiled back at him, “Come in, Jack.”

Jack gave her a quick hug, “How is he?”

“He is doing well,” Sha’re smiled before she tilted her head, “Are you alone?”

“T is giving SG6 a lesson in how Jaffa can truly kick their ass,” Jack chuckled, “He’ll get a lift from Janet once they’re finished. Carter…”

“Is not coming because she does not like me,” Sha’re shrugged.

“Has work to do she couldn’t leave,” Jack finished, “So, where’s Daniel?”

Sha’re chuckled softly and led him into the lounge where Daniel was sitting staring at a book. Hearing them enter Daniel looked up and a small smile touched his lips.

“Hi.”

“Hey, Daniel,” Jack said, “How you doin’?”

Daniel shrugged, “Better.”

Sha’re smiled slightly that Daniel hadn’t used his fallback answer to Jack’s question. The past few days he had opened up about what had happened to him and he was sleeping much easier.

“We thought that since it is such a nice day,” Sha’re said, “That you would like to grill out in the garden.”

Jack rolled his, “Sha’re, I am going to teach the word once more. Barbecue.”

“Barbecue,” she smiled back at him before heading to the kitchen, chuckling softly when she heard Jack demand, “What is it with the aliens, they can’t get that one word.”

 

Sha’re smiled when Daniel sat beside her later that afternoon. Teal’c and Janet had arrived about an hour earlier with Samantha appearing fifteen minutes before. Sha’re was surprised but she had overheard a small snatch of conversation between Samantha and Janet discovering Janet had demanded the other woman come.

“You’re leaving soon,” Daniel said sadly, “Aren’t you?”

Sha’re nodded softly, “I must get back to my school.”

Daniel let out a long sigh, “If I asked you to stay, you wouldn’t, would you?”

“Oh Dan’iel,” she sighed. 

“I know,” Daniel shrugged, “But the past few days have been good.”

Sha’re leaned her forehead against his, “I know but Dan’iel, we know how this ends. We work only for a short time but any longer we only hurt one another.”

“So…”

“So I am asking Jack to take me back to the Stargate tomorrow evening.”

 

Jack left his team and Janet chatting to join Sha’re who was packing her belongings ready for leaving the next day.

“Hey,” he said taking a seat on the bed, “I wanted to say thanks for coming and for bringing him back to us.”

Sha’re smiled slightly, “It was good to spend time with him. I still love him so much, Jack. I just do not want either of us to hurt the way we did before.”

Jack nodded, “I get that. It’s the same reason I didn’t reconcile with Sara. We see each other at times and its good but I know any more would not be good for either of us.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Sha’re sat at his side taking his hand in hers, “You have always been such a good friend to me.”

He shrugged, “Well you saved my life.” 

Sha’re chuckled, smiling when he hugged her, “Promise me that you will take better care of him.”

“I promise,” Jack told her before asking, “Are you sure you want to leave tomorrow?”

Sha’re sighed, “I have to. It is time and if I do not then…I might not be able to until it hurts again.”

She moved to the doorway looking out to where Daniel was laughing enjoying his friends company. She couldn’t let it hurt anymore.

 

“I’m happy for you to stay longer,” Daniel reminded her for what had to be the twentieth time that day.

They were standing at the bottom of the ramp waiting for the Stargate to dial. Daniel was leaning on the cane Janet had given him to use, looking at her sadly as he asked her not to leave.

Sha’re reached out and gently stroked his cheek, “I know but it is time for me to return to Cimmeria.”

Daniel took her face in his hands and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, “I love you.”

“Take care of yourself,” Sha’re told him sternly, “I do not want another call from Jack. Talk to him. He is your family and he will help you if you let him.”

“Sha’re….”

She gently kissed him just as the Stargate opened, “I love you too.”

With a tearful smile she walked up the ramp, stopping at the top she turned and saw Daniel standing watching her sadly. She gave him one more smile before stepping through into the cool pine air of her new home.

*********************************************

It had been three weeks since Sha’re had left Earth. She had come back to Cimmeria and continued working on her school for the village children. It had amazed her how many others wanted to help out and found she spent more time organising than teaching the children. A knock on her door made her sigh annoyed. She needed a few more hours to finish the work plan and then she would be happy to speak to anyone. Unfortunately that wasn’t to be.

Opening the door she stared stunned at who stood there.

“Hi,” Daniel smiled at her, “Can I come in?”

Stunned she nodded, stepping back allowing him inside, studying him closely before she closed the door.

“This is nice,” Daniel said, looking around, stopping when his eyes rested on her.

Sha’re smiled before she moved to him, hugging him tightly.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

Daniel shrugged, “I had some time off so I thought I should come to you for once.”

“Do you want something to eat?” Sha’re offered.

He shook his head, “I had lunch before coming here. How about a walk?”

“Your leg…”

“Is fine now,” he told her, “Jacob came to visit and used the healing gauntlet on it,” Daniel offered her his hand, “So, how about you show me around?”

 

Sha’re listened as Daniel relayed his most recent adventures with SG1. Some were amusing making her laugh, others were not as entertaining but she was relieved when he assured her everyone was safe including Janet.

“Thanks to you,” Daniel told her, “Your warning that the Jaffa would target our medical teams meant she wore the protective vest. It saved her life.”

Sha’re felt a soft blush cover her cheeks, “Let her know how relieved I am she is safe.”

Daniel nodded, his eyes becoming distant when they came to a clearing in the trees and he could see the Stargate with the entrance to Thor’s Hammer sitting just behind it.

“Tell me about the host of Osiris,” she nudged gently.

Daniel shrugged, “There’s nothing really to tell. We removed him from Sarah and she’s safe, away home, never wanting to see me ever again.”

“What happened was not your fault,” Sha’re reminded him, “You were nowhere near her when the Osiris jar smashed.”

Daniel let out a soft slightly bitter laugh, “I don’t think that matters to her.”

Sha’re took his hand in hers. Daniel stepped in wrapping his arm around her waist before resting his temple against hers.

Sha’re shivered before pulling back, she was about to suggest they head back but Daniel beat her to it. They walked back to her small cottage hand in hand in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

 

Sha’re made tea aware of Daniel sitting looking at her plans for the school wondering why he was here. He had avoided answering that question so far. 

“Here,” she set the mug in front of him, “I do not have coffee.”

“You have hot chocolate,” he reminded her with a grin.

Sha’re laughed before frowning slightly, “Why are you here, Dan’iel?”

He took a drink of tea before he set the mug down looking up at her. After a few moments of silence he pulled his chair over to hers.

“I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few months,” Daniel said, taking her hand in his, “And I love you. I am completely in love with you.”

“Dan’iel…”

“Let me finish,” Daniel stopped her, “I know I screwed things up but I am willing to do whatever you need so we can be together again.”

Sha’re stared at him stunned.

“You know how much I love you, Sha’re,” Daniel continued, “If things had been different, if Apophis hadn’t taken you…” he trailed off for a moment before looking up at her, “I shut down the day my parents died, I made sure I didn’t rely on anyone other than myself. When I met you Sha’re, you know how bad I was at sharing but I did manage it. When you were gone I had to rely on me again.”

“You saved me from Apophis,” Sha’re reminded him, “We were together again.”

“And I was terrified of upsetting you,” he replied, “Of breaking you.”

Unable to hold back Sha’re took his hand in hers, “I am not made of glass.”

“I know but I held you through your nightmares,” he whispered, “I watched you when you had to give Shifu away. I didn’t want to add to that. And it broke us.”

Sha’re stood and paced the small room for a few moments, “I do love you but we tried. We tried so hard to make things work and we failed.”

“After everything that has happened, Sha’re,” he stood to meet her, “Everything we’ve gone through, we can do this. I don’t want to go back to living without you.”

Sha’re took several deep breaths trying to get her voice to start working again. Daniel gently drew his fingers through her hair before stepping back.

“I should go and say hi to Gairwan,” he said before giving a wry smile, “I’ll be back soon.”

 

Sha’re sat staring out of the window at the small garden she had cultivated in her time on Cimmeria. She had lovingly planted and cared for each plant, flower and vegetable nurturing them to grow like the children she wanted. She knew that telling Daniel she couldn’t be with him again would mean they would part for good, the connection they shared now however slim would break. But the thought of repeating their separation was too much to bear.

“Naeri,” Sha’re breathed to the empty room, “This would be the perfect time for your council, my friend. I need your wisdom.”

Silence answered her as it did every time she spoke aloud to one of the loved ones who had ascended. She sighed to herself.

“I know what you would say though,” she sighed, continuing the one sided conversation, “You would remind me that Dan’iel is a good man, that he has always loved me even when we dove each other crazy.” 

Sha’re paced the room.

“I want to try,” she cried aggravated, “Of course I want to try but what if we fail again? What if I have to walk away once more? My heart broke the last time and it took me a long time to put it together again, even if it is not truly whole.”

Sitting down again Sha’re closed her eyes thinking back to that first year, then her abduction. She remembered the day they were reunited here on Cimmeria, how he’d held her so tightly and didn’t stop touching her for months in case she disappeared again. Then she had to give her baby away.

Sha’re wiped away the tears sliding along her cheeks at the thought of the little boy she had only held that once. She smiled recalling the warmth in her arms while she clasped him to her breast. That was when she began to pull away from Daniel while he pulled away from her.

They were both so stupid.

 

The sun was setting when Daniel arrived back, Sha’re sat with a mug of hot chocolate watching the small fire crackle in the fireplace.

“Hi,” Daniel said softly joining her.

“Did Gairwan feed you?” Sha’re asked with an amused smile.

Daniel nodded, “I was trying to be polite. Besides I thought you might need me to stay out of the way for now.”

Sha’re placed her mug down before she reached out and took his hand in hers.

“When you asked me to let you go,” she said, “I told you I would return to care for you.”

“Sha’re…”

“It is your turn to listen,” she cut him off, “I didn’t care about anything that had happened because I did not want to lose you. I never want to lose you but you have to make me a promise.”

“Of course.”

Sha’re smiled at his quick reply, “I will make you the same promise. That no matter what we talk to one another, that we do not let any fight overwhelm everything.”

“That we let each other in,” Daniel finished for her before saying, “I promise.”

“I promise,” Sha’re whispered. 

She moved to him pressing a kiss to his lips, falling into his embrace quickly. Parting Sha’re smiled down at him, “I will need time to pack up my cottage. I know you are needed on Earth, there is no question that we can stay here.”

“But General Hammond gave me a few weeks leave,” Daniel reminded her, “So we have time.”

Sha’re climbed into his lap with a smile, “Good. We have a lot of time to make up for.”

**********************************************

Daniel opened his eyes, smiling to find his beautiful Sha’re fast asleep beside him her face lit by the moonlight. She let out a soft sigh in her slumber and Daniel just watched her. The past few weeks had been perfect as they began their marriage once more and tomorrow morning they would return to Earth.

He hoped they could make it work this time, he hoped he wouldn’t mess this up this time because he didn’t want to lose her and he didn’t want to hurt Sha’re ever again.

Sha’re had decided the first thing they were going to do was buy a bed big enough for the both of them but Daniel had a different idea. He was going to buy her a wedding ring, something he should have done when they were first reunited but he always kept putting it off.

“Dan’iel?” Sha’re’s asked sleepily, opening her eyes to look at him, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” he kissed her, “Everything is fine.”

Sha’re gave him a smile, “Then you should go back to sleep.”

Wrapping his arm around her waist Daniel pulled her close, “I just wanted you to know that being with you is everything I ever wished for.”

“I wished for you too,” Sha’re breathed, cuddling close to him, “It is nice to know that wishes come true some times.” She kissed him again, “Go back to sleep.”

With a smile on his lips Daniel closed his eyes holding his wife close as he let sleep take him.


End file.
